Homophobia for Murder

Oh tenderly evolving soul and mind
You are ripe for retrieval.

There was a time
When I was young
And I had my wits about me

Then I met them -the adults
Who terribly confused me

I believed I was gay
And was going to be murdered for it

Now I’m neither gay nor not gay
And I do and am attracted to females
Though I’m a lover of men too
And a lover of women.

Also, I am scared hurt- of all of the above
Loving myself
Expressing myself
Fearing myself
Relaxing into myself
For fear of being tortured or murdered for it.

Because my father and the adults and the media told me so.
Damn.

Now I don’t even really know what gay is, and these boxes for me aren’t of interest to me anyways. How do I survive? By healing the shadow of my sexual -gay- confusion.

What is it to be gay, in your words? To sexualize men. Have you done this? I have imagined it for sure. Does it seem real? Kind of, yes, perhaps. I don’t know, I love them. Isn’t love sufficient? Why does love have to get all confusing and sexual? Am I gay? I don’t now. I don’t think so. NO!

Why not? What is that? A label? Yes. A derogatory statement? Was. A fearful statement? Indeed. A heroic action? Always. To be you. To be true is always heroic.

Why do you worry about being gay? Because if I’m gay I may be tortured and killed.

What again is gay? Gay is sex.
Androgyny? A spectrum of sexuality.
Like you? Yes, like me.
So, I’ll ask you again. Are you gay? No, I am not.
And what they think of you is of no concern to you, correct? Right, or wrong? But I want their approval.
No you don’t. Really? Still? Yes no maybe so. Okay no. Not anymore. Especially not if you wan tto put me into a box and make me guilty and torture and murder me because of it. So I am free?
I believe so. That is all?

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Oh no, Disassociation!

Angels, allies and guides
They can only show you the way
We are the ones who must walk through the door.

It’s not so sad, when you disbelieve, not so sad
Though it can be, maybe, right? Sad that is.
Or maybe not.

I think it is sad, which is true, which makes me more focused.
In being the change I wish to see in the world.
No one else will do it for me.
For the animals.
For the people.

The fun thing is that whatever difficulty you’re going through
It is unnecessary to continue it.

It’s best only to focus on the smoke
Self-Source-Spirit

Honing oneself is quite a process of trimming that which distracts or inhibits laser like flow of positive emotion -creative emotion!

Compassion, it’s hard to let go

Too much what if
Too much disassociation -TRUTH

Disassociation is not detachment
Spiritual Bypassing is not journeying or whatever
Two feet on the ground
Otherwise you be a cloud
And even clouds come to the ground
To replenish the earth -BETTER -MUCH BETTER

What is the opposite of Love?

Love, what is the opposite of Love?

If life does not have an opposite
Then what am I doing, now, here?

When you die you transform to a clearer awareness.
There’s not so much a state of awareness either
It is.

What is this freaking love?!?!

Killing me gently.

On a canoe
A little paper canoe
In a brook of fortune
Rides the two of them

“I’ve seen you before,” said the tiger lily from the coastal edge. It continued,
“Enter the place of freedom, and do try to remain.”

Dissent, save it for the garden.

On a canoe
A paper canoe
There is two
Who lead them people
To the truth
The expressed truth.

This mind -this truth
No more fussy pants.

Yes, regret, even now
Chance, it’s already gone
There’s no way that you can relive it

All, all that I can do
Is learn and try again

Pounce when the opportunity presents itself
Life is a white water rapid ride
Better to take off the training wheels
and fly!

Family

Too bad
I say
When my tribe of the long yet not forgotten past
Really hurt me
It’s hard to want to serve them today

That’s why I suffer
F*&k ’em
F()*k me

Must let go
Must let free
This temptation
for me

In Prayer of Drive & Focus

Apathy is easier
When you’re living partly on your parent’s buck -what the fuck

Healer wake up!
Do your mission!

But you want something. Which is?
Sex, love and glory … fame, fortune and everything that goes with it

What if, just for a moment, I allowed myself to be real?
I’d die, or at kindly note

Success -temptation -wisdom, shit shit shit
Is only a heartbeat away from you.

Where did my elephant go?

Family

Save it

This poem is dedicated to a person whom I know as Lavender. It is the first of its kind. 


Down and in

To the base

Embodiment safe
Like these trees
Basic rooted truthful

Down and in
To the root

Calmly in

Calmly down
Down and in

To the root
Rooted truthful

Down and in

Down and in
Basic true

TRUE TO TRUST
So unsafe

Not the truth

Cause it is
Ever safe

Witness it

Truth be told

Truth be told
Eye witness

Simple truth

Peaceful star

1-2-3
1-2-3

1-2-3

639

2 it 1
2 it 1
1-2-3

2 it 1

I it safe

Trust is safe

So it is
Pow of Love

Pow of Truth

1-2-3

2-2-2

1-2-2

2-2-1

0-2-2

1

1-1-11
Lies and deceit

1-2-3

2-2-2
No more lies

Cuts through them

11-and 1

2-2-1
No more lies 

1-2-deceit

Left it bye

2-2-1
0-1-2-3

0-0-0

0-0-3

4-4-2

6-3-9

7-7-2

7-7-1

7-7-2

7-7-3

7-7-$

Get it now

2rue 2rue 2rue
Not so greedy

Not like them

I can choose

What to do

1-1-2

1-1-$
So I see

Free as me

2-1-2-3-3-3

1-2-3-4
2-1-2

1-1-2

2-1-2
Straight talk heroine

1-2-3

Meaning!?

1-2-3

Safe as tree

1-2-3

Safe like tree

3-3-3

We 2 be

Safe in tree

Safe 2 tree

1-2-3

In 2 tree

Safe to tree 

Love is free

1-2-3

Believe 2-3
The unsafety hoax 

Hoax hoax hoax

Free lies d’epsilon
He’s unsafe

Safe like tree

True to me
Love with money

0-2-2

With love money

1-2-3-4

With money love

3-2-3

With money be

3-2-3

Money clear 

1-4-4

Money true 

7-5-90

2rue 2rue 2rue

Good 4 you

Got it true

Look it through

The glass to you

1-2-2

1-2-2
Money ain’t evil

1-2-2

So ain’t money

2-3-2

1 is 1

2 is 2

1 is 1

2 is 3
Do it for me

Do it for me
Be fair not

2-3-3

Let it ride

3-4-5

5-5-3

6 is alive 

7

7-8-9

9-8-7

2-7-8

7-5-90

The Body Mind and Light to Light

There is a truth to the intelligence that is you -totally- now, in this present moment. Therefore, do not think with the lesser intellect what is recovered in delusion for you. The intelligence of the heart-soul-body is unrivaled in all of the universe. It is the universe and therefore has all the intelligence thereof instantly. Trust what is occuring is ideal for your agreements and journey of light. From light to light.